The Journal of Vinny
by MaryAnne der Esel
Summary: An Atlantis fanfic. This fanfic is about Vinny and what he thinks about before, during, and after the movie. I'm sure you'll be surprised at what goes on inside that head of his. It has exploding Ferris wheels, Captain Nemo, sheep who can read, and more!


The Journal of Vinny  
By MeatLoaf the Happy Donkey  
  
[MeatLoaf's Note: This is the journal of Vinny from Disney's Atlantis movie. I'm sure you all remember Vinny. Tall, dark brown hair, accent, likes to blow things up. Who could forget him? Anyway, this funny little fic is about what he thinks about during the movie (and before and after the movie). I know he's not really as unintelligent in the movie as he is in this fic but c'mon, did you really think I was actually going to write a serious fanfic? If I started writing serious fanfics, people would get confused. They might even * shudder * throw me into a world filled with normal people! Ah!]  
  
June 44, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Hi, uh...my name is Vinny. You are my journal now so deal with it. Somebody left you in the flower shop today right beside a big vase of roses. I was bored so I decided to write in you. I'm not really sure what the date is so I just kind of made something up. I know the year is wrong, I think the month is right, but I KNOW I put down the right day. Yup.  
  
  
July 1, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Dad thinks there's a thief in the flower shop. He said that an old lady put an expensive journal on a table while she was talking to Dad and when she went to pick it up, it was gone! What kind of idiotic freak would want to steal some old lady's journal? It's probably filled with lists of medications that she has to take. Eeewwww.  
  
  
July 2, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
That old lady won't quit bugging Dad and me about her stupid journal. She says it's worth millions of dollars because it belonged to some guy named Abraham Lincoln and she keeps on threatening to bring us to court. Why would anybody pay millions of dollars for a stupid old journal? They're pointless and the only people who write in them are disaffected teenagers. Hey, wait a minute.....  
  
July 3, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Today a letter came for me in the mail. Dad thought it was a letter from that old journal lady saying that she's going to sue us and I thought the government was trying to draft me into the army but as it turned it was letter from some old guy name Mr. Whitmore. Mr. Whitmore says I can come ride on a submarine and blow stuff up at some place called "Atlantis". I didn't know what Atlantis was so I asked Dad and he said it was an amusement park. I'm gonna go there and blow up the Ferris wheel.  
  
July 4, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Today I made a giant American flag out of flowers. I was really proud of myself until Dad came up to me and told me that the American flag isn't pink and orange and doesn't contain the word "palmetto". He also said that I probably shouldn't be celebrating this holiday because we're not in America. Then I asked him what country we were in but he said he didn't know. I guessed I was in the Soviet Union but when I looked on the map I couldn't find it so I figured it must be on the moon. Hey, I'm an Alien! I'm gonna go blow up the mother ship!  
  
July 5, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Today I got another letter from Mr. Whitmore. This time he said he wanted me to meet him on a boat with the rest of the people who want to go to the Atlantis theme park. I think he said that the ship was on the coast of England....or maybe it was Iceland or Ireland. I'm not really sure because he mentioned a lot countries. Dad says he can only afford to pay for 1 one-way ticket to only 1 country so I'll have to pick a country and hope it's the right one. I think I'll go to Poland. Dad also says that I should pick up a sheep that can read on my way to Poland because the letter mentioned something about a shepherd and a book.  
  
July 6, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
This morning I packed up all my stuff and Dad drove me to the big boat that will take me to Poland. The boat was called the Titanic and Dad says it's the safest boat in the world because it can't sink.  
  
July 7, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Last night, the Titanic sailor people woke up everyone and put them in life boats. I could see the Titanic going under the water while I was sitting in a life boat but I really don't know what it was doing. The guy who sat in the life boat next to mine said that it was going fishing. Whatever it was doing, it couldn't have been sinking because Dad said that it can't sink and Dad is always right. He was right about that time when my dog fluffy got sick and they sent him to a farm and he was all right and about how my cat wasn't dead, she was just sleeping. My friends say I'm just gullible but Dad says I'm not.  
  
July 8, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Today I woke up and all the other life boats were gone! Then I saw a giant submarine thing. Some guy came out of it and told me to come inside. I really didn't have anything better to do so I did. He said that his name is Captain Nemo. He also said that everyone in his family were hippies and one day they went to protest against a war in The Soviet Union and communist army people killed them all. He's been searching for the Soviet Union for the past 15 years because he wants to go there and complain but he can't find it on the map. Then I told him it was on the moon. He was so grateful for that piece of information that he said he'll take me anywhere in the world that I wanted to go. Of course, I told him that I wanted to go to Poland because I needed to get on a big boat and go to Atlantis. He said that he loves Poland very much because that's where he was born but he can't take me there because that's not where the Atlantis boat is...and because he can't find it on the map.  
  
July 9, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Captain Nemo has taken me to the Atlantis boat thing. He said that he's going to find a mysterious island and build a rocket ship to fly to the moon. He also said that he won't be needing his submarine anymore since he'll have a rocket ship so he left it at the dock next to the boat. Then he climbed into a row boat with all the other former submarine people and sailed away.  
While I was waiting at the dock, an old guy wearing a white disco suit came up to me and asked me if my name was Vinny. I said "uh...yeah?" and he said "Dude! I'm Mr. Whitmore and you and the rest of the crew were going to go on that big boat over there but since someone has abandoned a giant submarine at the dock, you're all going to go to Atlantis in that instead!" Then I said "uh...cool?" Then Mr. Whitmore took me to the submarine and introduced me to a guy named Commander Whatever-his-last-name-was. Mr. Commander guy looked really old and he started talking about important missions or something. I wasn't really listening because I was too busy thinking about how much I wanted to blow something up. Then Mr. Commander took me to my room on the submarine. I met this guy named Dr. Sweet who said he'd saw off my leg in 28 seconds if I tried to blow up one of his microscopes. Then I met this weird little....well, I'm not really sure what he was but his name was Mole and he was afraid of soap. They've got some strange people going to that Atlantis theme park.  
  
July 10, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Today Mr. Commander guy made me and everyone else listen to that little Milo guy talk about Atlantis. He said that Atlantis is an ancient civilization. Maybe there are little tribes of people living in the amusement park. When I get there I'm going to feed them little bits of funnel cakes and it's gonna be just like feeding bread to the sea gulls at the beach. Then the Milo guy started talking about a shepherd and a book which reminded me that I forgot to bring a sheep. Maybe if I don't say anything about it everyone will forget that I had to bring a sheep in the first place. Suddenly, that old lady who smokes too much started talking to Mr. Commander guy about some noise she was hearing. Then a giant ocean critter attacked the submarine and it started to sink...while it was underwater...hmmm. Anyway, the submarine was starting to fill up with water so everyone had to get into submarine life boats that could only hold two people each. I got stuck with Mole. I'm so glad I had soap with me because the little weirdo was waving his arms and screaming "We're all gonna die!" I threatened to wash his hands off with soap if he didn't sit still and be quiet. Needless to say, he didn't bother me anymore.  
  
July 11, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
While the crew and I were walking around we came to a really big crevice. I put some explosive stuff (Audrey's hair spray, some Tylenol I "borrowed" from Dr. Sweet, and that yellow mushy stuff that Cookie was cooking) next to a big stone column and lit a match. Voila! Instant bridge! Everyone was really proud of me except for Milo. He was complaining about ancient architecture or something. I wasn't really listening because I was too busy thinking about how good it felt to blow that thing up.  
Dr. Sweet can saw through a leg in 28 seconds, I can make a bridge in 10 seconds, and Mole can gross someone out in 3 seconds. We should be in the Guinness Book of World Records.  
  
July 13, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Last night we camped out next to a big bridge the had a giant yellow rock thing hanging over it. I didn't think I'd ever get to sleep because I usually sleep in complete darkness. Milo was happy though because he sleeps with the lights on...and a teddy bear. How babyish can you get? No one over the age of 5 sleeps with a teddy bear. I don't sleep with a teddy bear.......I sleep with a doggie stuffed animal. His name is Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzle and I love him very much. I can't fall asleep without him.  
In the middle of the night Milo came running through the camp with his pants down screaming "fire!". The entire camp was engulfed in flames. I think Mrs. Old Lady Who Smokes Too Much started the fire with one of her cigarettes. When I got up out of my sleeping bag, I looked around and saw thousands of cute little fire flies everywhere! Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzle and I wanted to catch some but Mr. Commander Guy grabbed me and threw me in a truck before I could catch any. Then Mole climbed in the drivers seat and started making the truck go really fast. I was about to ask him if he had a driver's license when suddenly the bridge collapsed and we all fell down in to a pit. I was tired so I took a nap. When I woke up I figured it must've been today. I was so hungry I was actually considering eating some of that yellow mushy stuff that Cookie made yesterday when Milo said that we should all follow the little tiki people that he found. Following the yellow brick road would probably have been a better idea, but I was too hungry to complain. About 15 minutes later we came to a cliff with a big bridge that led to some kind of island thing. I figured it must have been Atlantis. Dad was almost right: Atlantis isn't a theme park, it's a water park. Oh well, If I can't blow up a Ferris wheel I can at least blow up a water slide. There was a lady standing next to the bridge. Milo started talking to her and found out that she is the princess of Atlantis and her name is Kidagakash...or something like that. I'll just call her Princess Lady.  
Princess Lady led the crew and I across the bridge and into some kind of fancy pants hotel. It was all prettyful and I got to sleep on a couch.  
  
July 14, 1914  
Dear Journal,  
Today I ate some weird crawdad things for breakfast. Even though they taste awful, they're a lot better than that yellow mushy stuff that Cookie is always making. I seriously don't know what he puts in that stuff. Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzle and I think it's radioactive.  
That afternoon, Mr. Commander Guy took me and the rest of the crew down to some kind of lake. Then Milo and Princess Lady came out of the water and Mr. Commander Guy grabbed them and dragged them to the King of Atlantis. Mr. Commander Guy started talking to the King about hearts and crystals or something. I wasn't really listening because I was too busy thinking about how much I want to blow up a Ferris wheel but I can't because this is a water park. Then Mr. Commander Guy took me and the rest of the crew down to some kind of underground lake. I'm not really sure what we were doing there but I guess we were playing hide-and-go-seek. Milo and Princess Lady must have been the hiders Mr. Commander Guy must have been the Seeker and the lake must have been the base. There was a giant glowing light bulb thing floating over the underground lake. Princess Lady floated over to it and it sucked her inside. Then she came out looking like a crystal. I really wanted to blow up the glowing light thingy but I didn't have any dynamite! Then the Princess Lady floated across the water and we followed her back up to Atlantis. When we got there, Mr. Commander guy put Princess Lady in some kind of metal box. Maybe her lungs collapsed and they put her in an iron lung. She's most likely blue because of the oxygen deprivation. Mr. Commander guy is probably taking her to the Hospital. That's really nice of him. When we put her on the truck, Milo said he didn't want to take Princess Lady to the hospital and went and stood next to all the Atlantis people. Then Audrey went next to him. I figured I might as well stand next to him too because that's what people do in the movies...and because I wanted to stay and blow up a water slide. Then all the rest of the people came and stood with us except for Helga and Mr. Commander Guy. They're the only two people who are nice enough to take Princess Lady to the hospital. If there were more people like them, I'm sure the world would be a better place. After they left, the bridge collapsed so we chased after them with those flying cars. I had no idea what we were doing but Milo said I would get to blow stuff up so I went with them. We found Mr. Commander Guy, Helga and Princess Lady in an extinct volcano and they were in a hot-air balloon trying to get to the hole at the top of the volcano. Milo told us to shoot the little airplanes flying around the balloon. I did and it was fun but it's still not as fun as blowing up a Ferris wheel. After all the planes were shot, Milo rescued Princess Lady and shot the balloon down. Then we went back to Atlantis and opened the metal box. Princess Lady's lungs must be working now because she was ok. Milo said he wanted to stay in Atlantis because he likes Princess Lady but I think he wants to stay because he wants to search for a Ferris wheel. I know that there aren't any Ferris wheels in Atlantis so I decided to go home with the rest of the crew.  
  
July 15, 1914  
Today the crew and I were interviewed about what happened at Atlantis. I wanted to tell the truth but Mr. Whitmore said he'd give me candy if I told the reporters that Atlantis wasn't real.  
  
July 16, 1914  
Before I left Atlantis, the Atlantis people gave me a bunch of golden stuff. Today I sold it for a lot of money and used it to open up a whole chain of flower shops and to go to an Amusement Park with Dad. I brought along some dynamite and I blew up a Ferris wheel! It was so much fun! Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzle was proud of me! We had to leave early though because policeman were chasing after us. It was the best day of my life. When we got back to the house, we watched the news. Some lady was interviewing a guy who said he went to the moon in a rocket ship. Oh darn I ran out of room in this journal. Oh well. Bye little journal thing!  
  
The End  
[MeatLoaf's Note: I heard that Jules Verne's original idea for Captain Nemo was a mysterious Polish dude who's family was killed by Russian army people or something like that. Then the people who were going to publish his book said that they might get in trouble with the government so just to be on the safe side he should change it to a mysterious guy who refuses to tell what country he was from and what country killed his family. I'm not sure if this is true or not but it would make sense. So, um...yeah.]  



End file.
